Child tantrums a natural part of childhood and development
It seems terrible having a child that makes tantrums, and you must have quite often wondered, Why has it to be me each time, but believe me you are not alone. An estimate shows that 87% of the children throw tantrums between the ages of 18months to 2 years, while about 91% throw tantrums between the age of 30 months to 3 years and 59% of the children between 42 months to 4 years throw tantrums. As a child grows older you will find he/she becomes better equipped to manage and communicate his negative emotions.
Tantrums being most frequent and common in children that are between 18 months to 3 years witnessed as screaming, crying, arching backs, vomiting, stiffening limbs, breaking of things, kicking, falling down, running and flailing about or hitting. These feelings arise out of extreme anger, frustration, or being overwhelmed. It could be aggravated with tiredness, hunger, overstimulation and the emotional vulnerability of the child. It is true you would find that your younger child could get tantrums when he/she is unable to do what her/his older sibling did.
Dealing with child tantrums
1.Identifying the triggers of tantrums helps deal with them better. When the tantrum stems from being not allowed to do something, it is best for you to keep
fragile things away from his/her reach, then to offer choices or distract the child with some other activity or object. Tantrums arising out of not wanting to obey can be dealt with by being reasonable in instructions, letting the child know in advance that something has to be done and making the child feel good with offering choices. If frustration is the cause comfort by hugging and quality time with the child could help. When tiredness, being overwhelmed or hunger is the cause, it could be remedied with making sure such situations are avoided to a large extent.
2.Children could have the worst and most violent temper tantrums that could make you want to go find refuse in some quiet and calm place. Then just remind
yourself that you are in control of the choices you can make to deal with the tantrum. Determine to yourself that you are going to be calm. This would also set an example to your child that you are a strong parent and are sturdy and reliable enough to be depended upon, for children love to know it. Most wise parents wait for the tantrum to subside before discussing or reasoning out with their children.
3.You could find tantrums in public very embarrassing, but believe me young children may not simply understand all about it. It would be good to distract the
child or just frisk him/her away, with giving an explanation that the child is hungry or tired. Once home just wait for the tantrum to subside as you carry our matter of fact all your own responsibilities for you just would not want to encourage tantrums in future.
4.You would soon realize that being firm yet empathic would help in dealing with temper tantrums. It would be wrong to give in to your childs request. It would
help to isolate your child for some time, when he/she would have time to cool down and probably feel better. Being consistent in ones approach makes the child learn that you are firm. However when a child is really overwhelmed it would pay to hug and soothe him/her. However it is best to show that you appreciate good behavior and improvement, and this is best done with rewarding your child in kind and praise. Kind could also mean a few hugs, kisses and cuddled to make your child feel great and good.
You would surely appreciate as a conscious parent to help your child identify and cultivate coping skills and this could be best done with teaching him/her to express their feelings in an agreeable way and be effective in dealing with child tantrums.