Are temper tantrums abnormal in children
It would be rather frustrated when your parents tell you that you threw much worse temper tantrums than their grandchildren, but this could be the truth because temper tantrums are inevitable and form a part of the emotional development of most children. They start around the age of 12 months and could continue till the child becomes 4 years, temper tantrums arising mainly out of the inability of a toddler to express one clearly. Known as the terrible twos, temper tantrums is more a cry for independence, but the inability of the mind, and body to help in being independent. There are a few things that can help handle temper tantrums in toddlers, and a few other things that would help the toddler during a temper tantrum.
Important pointers in handling temper tantrums in toddlers
1.Regular quality time spent with your toddler playing, reading stories or talking with him/her could being down the frequency of these outbursts and
frustrations. It could be just about 5 to 10 minutes with him/her on a one to one basis, with setting limits and consistent guidelines. Mutual respect and understanding built up in the toddlers mind would help decrease the length and intensity of the tantrum considerably.
2.With regular observation you would be easily able to find out when your toddler may have temper tantrums, and you would be most smart in finding ways to
divert it as once the temper tantrum starts it may sometimes be unable to control his actions and he may hurt himself and others around. It is quite common to see parents that are smart carry their toddlers favorite toy or picture book just to divert attention and maintain calm. Some have been prompt enough to just carry their toddler and leave the place at once.
3.Finding out the reason for the tantrum like getting hungry, feeling sleepy, or getting tired could help chart out an appropriate response. Some may get temper
tantrums that could be due to fear, frustration or being neglected. Fixing up appropriate mealtimes, snack time, play time, bedtime routine, and time to make the toddler feel secure and comfortable would help slowly and surely in controlling temper tantrums. Surely fear and frustration needs immediate comforting from a near family member.
4.You would definitely be a smart parent with maintain your calm and get over your frustration when your toddler has a temper tantrum. Making sure not to react
as your child does would only make him/her more violent. It would help to first make sure your toddler is safe by removing things that hurt from around him/her. It would also be advisable if possible to move the child to a safer place. The best technique that has always worked for parents to maintain their calm is by taking a few deep breaths, and this could be followed with making sure your toddler is safe and taking some time out by yourself to cool down. Your spouse or some other person that could take care of the toddler for a while could help you.
5.Trying to reason out or discipline your toddler during a temper tantrum is useless, it would only make the child feel more controlled and convey the feeling
that feelings should not be vented, with hitting conveying the meaning that hitting or losing control is acceptable behavior. Helping the toddler to verbalize his/her feelings with suggestions shows your empathy without giving in to the tantrums.
Then at last explain that the behavior is not acceptable once the temper tantrum is over to the toddler in his/her own simple language making sure that you communicate very clearly that you do love and care for him/her. Do not miss on the opportunity to discuss and suggest acceptable options.