Toddler tantrums are part of emotional growth
As a mother it would be very usual for you to experience your tantrums in your toddler, with triggers being stress, frustration, hunger, anger, fatigue or frustration. Expecting a toddler to express his/her feelings in a better way is wrong, for toddlers also go through stress of being told always what to do or not. Though you may assume tantrums are thrown mainly to manipulate parents, it is good to realize that manipulation could be a possible reason, but there could be other reasons too that require patient and calm thought of the situation.
Toddler tantrums are mainly due to their inability to express themselves properly or not really knowing what they want, with significant changes in life like a new-born or change in residence aggravating the situation. It is right in saying that tantrums usually start off nearing the first year and may continue to a maximum of 3 years.
Coping with toddler tantrums
It is best for you to anticipate when your toddler may get a tantrum and look for ways to distract and redirect him/her with other activities. It would be highly advisable if you can make your toddler feel more secure and happy with a regular routine with fixing mealtimes, snack time and bedtime. Next it would greatly help to explain to toddlers when they are calm in baby language the reasons why they are allowed to do certain things and not others.
By observation you would soon find triggers that start off a tantrum in your toddler, it could be when he is sleepy, tired, or in the cookies departments of a supermarket. Avoiding these triggers, changing the routine or engaging the toddler in one of his favorite activity like a favorite toy or book could help in most times. You could be real stressed when your toddler screams, turn rigid, kick about or roll on the floor, but parenting involves your remaining calm and patient, this could be highly facilitated with deep breathing exercises, counting till ten or just putting your toddler in a safe place like a play pen or cot and relaxing.
Coping with your toddlers tantrums and also making sure they are safe involves either putting them in a safer place or removing things around that could harm or hurt them, this turns necessary considering that he/she has no control over ones behavior and action. Next it proves vital to come down to the level of your toddler, and this starts off with kneeling or sitting by his/her side and making eye contact that would instill confidence in one.
Hugging and kissing your toddler as you explain in toddler language would help bring his/her tantrum in control. The beauty of coping up with your toddlers tantrum lies in distracting him/her and just pretending all is fine. Just ignoring the tantrum and paying the least of attention would not only make the toddler feel that he is gaining no attention, but would also help one to get calm and want to make up with you.
You would be the best parent in ignoring tantrums, and rewarding your toddler each time he/she behaves well. This would communicate to their baby mind that you appreciate good behavior and that they can get better attention that way. You do need to show them understanding and love when they are down, with a hug conveying a lot more than words could convey.
Consistency should be the rule that should apply to your handling toddlers tantrums, for it is being consistent that conveys the important learning to them that throwing tantrums is never the accepted way to get things they always want. Enlisting the cooperation of your partners and those that spend quality time with the child will help to make your toddler understand better about rules and norms of good behavior and not throw tantrums.